in two months i've managed to spend US$4,000~ umm.. yeah, my mom is going to kill me.. so sshh! from now on i'm only spending money on food, HK$50 a day or less, and am going to lock myself in this room so i can't spend any more money anywhere else! i only have about less then US$1,000 left till i get more money in February. honestly, no one should ever trust me with my money. i should have given my mom all my credit cards and debit card before she left. i'm such a fucking idiot, my mom really needs to yell at me for my spending habits, but no she never yells at me .. she just gives me a five second lecture. I'M SO FUCKING STUPID! i need to sign up for some money management 101 classes, because i don't even know where all my money went.

i'm ashamed of myself, i'm afraid of how to tell my mom, i'm afraid of how she'll react when she finds out, and i'm afraid of how my life will turn out if i continue throwing away money like i do. i won't always have my parents to fall back on.

alcohol doesn't help you get away from your problems either .. i drunk dialed my mom last night! yeah talk about stupid drunk .. but i still couldn't fest up that:
- mom i've pretty much spent all the money you gave me
- mom i've pretty much withdrawn all the money in checkings account, back home, through my debit card

BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET .. need to figure out how to survive the next four months~