I got Denise Ho's AUTOGRAPH! That's right bitch. LOL. After complaining to my sister that I was able to get her Leo's autograph and not being able to get Denise's, I finally got it. I wasn't even planning on going to her function today but at last minute, I decided to go because *this is going to sound really weird* I had this feeling I was going to be able to today. Right after the Snoopy function I followed the other Ah C fans into the garage and waited for her at her van. I turn around and there's Denise .. at this point there was only like 5 of fans waiting for her. The first person I see walk from around the corner was Denise! I was like OMG .. she walked towards me and I'm like "can i have your autograph" really softly though and English too, my Cantonese just disappeared on me. She took my marker and CD and started signing it and looked at me, I was like going crazy inside. But I was so stunned that I wasn't able to say a word. I felt like a complete idiot. I wanted to tell her I was her fan from the US and blah blah blah. But not a word, I managed to say "THANK YOU" though. God .. she was right in front of me, without a million fans around either and when she looked right at me. Okay, maybe I can just die now.
But, that's when the whole bittersweet thing comes in. I'm so physically happy but inside I'm tearing apart right now. Right before the function started I got a voice mail from Bryan and he had completely lost it crying. It turns out a friend of mine back home had just tried to commit suicide by overdosing on meds. I know he was going through some tough times but just yesterday morning I talked to him on the phone when I tried calling Bryan and he sounded so happy. I don't know what to do or say. I just made Bryan promise me he wouldn't do anything stupid too, Bryan's going through a lot right now and this just compounded into it. I really want to be back the states by Bryan's side right now. I want to give him a huge hug and just fall asleep next to him. I really want to go back to the states for Christmas for a week and just not tell my mom.
So happy I got Ah C's autograph, yet so lost that a friend tried to commit suicide. I never truly knew what this feeling of bittersweet was until now.
*sigh* .. all I can do is pray that my friend is going to be okay.
Omnipotent and eternal God, the everlasting Salvation of those who believe, hear us on behalf of Thy sick servant, Josh., for whom we beg the aid of Thy pitying mercy, that, with his bodily health restored, he may give thanks to Thee in Thy church. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
